Great Mazinger's Motorcycle Emporium

No, rest assured, THE RANTMASTER is not dead! And it's back, with a rant no one in particular requested! ... A-anyway, get yourselves ready for a trip through nostalgia from before I was even born, with a thoughtful discussion on Yellow Submarine, as well as why Ringo kicks ass and I need a "Ringo Starr Fan Club" icon.

( Picture yourself in a boat by the river, with tangerine trees and marmelade skies... )

Don't worry, we'll be back to our regular scheduling when the next entry, about Shinichi Mechazawa from Cromartie High School, as requested by purophet, will be written. According to my calculations, this should be sometime before the end of the year 3010!

Yes, this is still Persona-related.

First! You may know this already, but Shiki Ichimonji, defender of all that is awesome, has hit the PersonaMUSH grid like the fist of an angry god. Feel free to contact me so that we can schedule a RP appointment and destroy everything.

Second! Just in case you play there and missed the IC Rumors post, you can follow the plot of Shiki's manga on recaps_weekly. Chances are what goes on in it will have more than a little to do with his IC adventures. IC comments (from characters played or otherwise) are also encouraged, but I'm pretty sure they won't count as "canon".

Starting from now, Murasame's story becomes fragmented and hard to follow, with some parts entirely unreadable. It is speculated that this may be the result of his psyche being shattered into several terrifying pieces. Another theory is that he's just started saving a lot more often. Yet another theory is that the "Twitter Generation" sucks and that back in my day we had attention spans beyond a ladybug's.

( THIS IS SO AWESOME MY PERSONA CAN POOP FOR ME )

Did Shiki Murasame's story end here? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, no.

THESE ARE VERY IMPORTANT THINGS FOR YOU TO KNOW

Persona 1: Haven't played at all since the last status update. That's right! I haven't taken a single bathroom break since last week.
Current status: Camping in the hallways of the demon-infested, dimensionally-warped alternate-universe version of the party's high school. The gang probably feeds on canned peaches from the cafeteria and keeps itself entertained by dancing crazy until I come back to get them out of there.

Persona 3 FES: Aigis' character portraits, especially her freakishly long neck, scare the crap out of me. I question the wisdom of giving me three new party members in the same one-month span, each one more grossly overlevelled than the last. (I think the game is telling me I should GRIND MORE.) Like in Persona 4, I'm fairly certain I know who will eventually turn out to secretly be pure evil. Freaking out because I messed up on a bit of the perfect Social Link FAQ I've been following and it's not clear how much leeway I'll have to catch up.
Current status: Mid-September, in the middle of my monthly four-hour Tartarus grind. The Dark Hour is a lot longer than you'd think, it seems.

PersonaMUSH: App written and sent! Citizens of the Bay Area, please look forward to having your faces rocked by SHIKI ICHIMONJI, DYNAMIC MANGA SUPERSTAR.
Current status: Eagerly awaiting app response. Hoping the approval process will be relatively painless.

So they're rereleasing the Phoenix Wright games on WiiWare. That's great! If one of you is part of the tiny pool of people who own a Wii but no DS and also never played the Phoenix Wright games, you're in luck!

Of course, this doesn't really apply to me. Except... would I be the only one who, even after two playthroughs of each game (which have very little replay value, honestly), would still totally buy a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: HD Remix game?

Persona 4: See earlier entries for impressions.
Current status: Normal Ending obtained. Will probably only go for True once I'm done with Persona 3's main game.

Persona PSP: Progress is slow, mostly because I'm doing this one bathroom break at a time. So far it's a bit easier than I expected it to be, but I fully expect to be taught who my daddy is if I don't pay enough attention. It's my understanding that I'm stuck with Mark and Brown forever. I've recently noticed that the game seems to be attempting to have an actual plot. More "in-character" updates may come at some point, but not if NO ONE READS 'EM. (Please raise your hand if you do.)
Current status: Wandering the halls of the ??? High School.

Persona 3 FES: After some consideration, I've decided to play this in parallel to Persona 1 after all. I'm finding the main plot much more interesting than Persona 4's so far, but the Social Links seem much less so by comparison. The Elizabeth date scenes are the greatest things ever. Using a FAQ to max out Links so I can see as much as possible in one playthrough, as well as kick maximum ass with minimum fuss. Oh, and I'm very late to the party but WHY DOES NO ONE EVER QUESTION THE FACT THAT EVOKERS ARE GUN-SHAPED FOR VERY FLIMSY REASONS?!
Current status: Nearing the end of June. Fuuka has joined, a very cute but obviously unimportant dog has passed by, and one of the villains appears to be albino Jesus. Okay.

PersonaMUSH: That's right, I've decided to app there. I'm not making any promises as to what my activity level will be like, and I'll probably be doing a vast majority of social scenes, but I wanna arpeeeeeee.
Current status: Most of the character's concept has been decided on after much deliberating, a Persona has been decided on, but the only thing actually written down in full is the History section.

The following story was pieced together from the words found carved in the bark of several pink radioactive trees scattered through the city of Lunarvale Mikage-cho. Experts speculate that their author was Shiki Murasame, the unhinged teenager who nearly caused the end of all existence as we know it.

( PERSONA! Gotta catch 'em-- IT'S YOU AND ME-EEEEE! I know it's my destiny! PERSONA! Oooooh, you're my best friend IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND! )

To be continued...

( FEATURING OVER 9 UNIQUE ICONS! )

Yay, another Persona-related entry! I kept this one separate from my Persona 4 impressions so as to because that one was already getting long, so.

Anyway! Now that my curiosity has been piqued, I'm thinking of going on a journey through the franchise. While Persona 3 is the one that I have the most interest in right now, I know that going backwards through a video game series is a great way to go insane. So, people familiar with it, help me chart out a course! Here's what I'm planning right now:

-Persona 1 (PSP remake)
-Persona 2: Innocent Sin (Fan translation)
-Persona 2: Eternal Punishment
-Persona 3 FES (It is just an enhanced version of the original game, yes? I am not very clear on that.)

So, anything I'm missing? And if this is fine, anything I should really know before I dive into the first entry? Also, will you make fun of me if I play on Easy mode?!

So, like at least two other people on my LJ friendslist, I've recently started harboring a sudden and entirely inexplicable interest for the Persona franchise. Having had no prior encounter with the franchise (except one brief, wild night with the original Shin Megami Tensei), I just beat Persona 4 yesterday. Here are my impressions and whatnot!

( Here thar be spoilers and less spoilery things. )

And with all this said, did I hate Persona 4? Oh, hell no! It's just hard to be funny about stuff you like, you know. The presentation is AWESOME, the characters are actually pretty likable despite their cliché quirks, the life sim segments got a little repetitive but were still cool, I'm actually totally fine with the voice acting despite some people telling me I'm violating a divine law for doing so, and while I have my gripes about the main gameplay systems, I can even let them slide because everything is so damn polished.

And now I can read hiimdaisy's comics without being spoiled anything! This was my main intent all along, you see.

Happy Satan Day, everyone! Last time we left Varry Otter, things had definitely taken a turn for the worse in his life, forcing the young, bright-eyed hero to face new, darker challenges. Will he rise up to the occasion? Read on and find out!

( EP. 106: COUNTDOWN TO DESTRUCTION )

Looks like Varry Otter's at it again in this special episode of Varry Otter and the College time! How special? Well, you'll have to read on to find out!

( EP. 105: A SUPER SUPPER FOR SATAN )

Oh man, Varry Otter really is in a dilly of a pickle right now. I'm on the edge of my seat! Aren't you? The worst part is, I'll have to stay that way until part 2 is posted, which should be just in time for the Satan Day feast! Wow!

Edit: Whoops, lj cut didn't work. Fixed now.

You know, I kind of wish Videoland was still around, just so someone could app Maxwell from Scribblenauts and give him a skill called "INFINITE PIES".

_{Okay, in a better mood now.}

The vast majority of the people reading this have met me through some MUSH or another (Videoland, mostly), and may have noticed that I've fallen off the MUSHosphere for a while now. This is sad, because it means I have very few reasons to stay in touch with some cool people! PersonaMUSH seems like it's attracting the right crowd so far, but my knowledge of the series is basically "I guess there are happy snowmen and ancient gods and moral ambiguity abounds???" Meanwhile, I keep fiddling with the idea of coming back to Gate or SRT, but I know I'll probably idle out for one reason or another.

But I just started thinking. What if there was a MUSH perfect for me, one that would keep me coming back for more? What would it be like?

( Oh man, I can't wait to click here and find out! )

And YOU, what would YOUR perfect MUSH be like? (You can pretend that this is a meme if you want, or just comment here, I dunno.)

Because YOU demanded it, THE RANTMASTER is back after a stupidly long wait, capitalizing and bolding his self-awarded title because he is apparently a gigantic egomaniac. Now, from his gigantic throne, he points to his next target! Pillars of flame rise in the air as the screams of the damned echo across the land! What could possibly be the cause of so much commotion? Why, 4Kids, as requested by spoonbybardol, of course!

( YO! YA-YO YA-YO! HO-HO! )

And that's that! Tune in next time, hopefully not after a month's delay, for... Hm, this could be bothersome. ctakahara! Read this if you can! After some thinking, I've decided that the subject you chose, ("apartment hunting", that is), would not be suited for me to make a guffaw-worthy rant from. Mostly, this is because of my lack of first-hand familiarity with the subject matter. If you don't propose a new rant topic within 24 hours, I will work on someone else's, until you give me one! Oh, so cruel is THE RANTMASTER!

NO, I DON'T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT A MOM'S AMAZING TRICK TO GET WHITER TEETH

(turns out it's purchasing two products using _risk-FREE TRIALS and coupon codes that KNOCK DOWN THE _shipping COSTS TO BASICALLY NOTHING, a trick exposed on many news sites that somehow all only cover a single news story, on which all comments are disabled after about ten overly-extatic endorsements)

OR ABOUT THE ONE SINGLE RULE FOR A FLAT STOMACH (OBEY)

(yeah, that's a ridiculous scam too, the funniest part is when even the story review blog they link to is trying to sell you acai berry)

THANK YOU

I've been woken up in the middle of last night by a pair of men in black. Without answering my questions as to what this was about, they brought me outside, to the backyard. There, lying down on the grass, I saw an unfamiliar-looking middle-aged man, bound and gagged. Finally, one of the two men spoke up.

"Mister snotman. Sometime around 1730, last Tuesday, you have been heard in public, saying that you would kill to see a Crush40 track pack in Rock Band or Guitar Hero. As it happens, we are here as representatives of Sega, the ones holding the rights to the songs you would like to hear," one explained calmly, while the other remained silent throughout our entire encounter.

"Wait, what's that got to do with this man? What are you talking about?!" I knew all too well what he meant, but I couldn't possibly believe my ears. As if to confirm my worst suspicions, the man in black drew a gun from inside his coat, which he offered to me, not saying a word. I took a step back, feeling a sudden urge to throw up.

"So..." I calmed down only a few seconds later, suddenly feeling detached from about everything, including the absurdity of the whole situation. "You're saying, if I kill this man, I'll be able to play Live and Learn in Rock Band?"

He shrugged. "Yes and no. If anything, this would merely improve the odds of such a thing happening. Rest assured, however, that whichever choice you make, we will make sure that absolutely no one outside of you and Sega has any idea what occured tonight." I wondered why he thought I could trust him on this. "Has Sega ever betrayed your expectations?" He smiled widely.

"Let me get that straight," I continued, still in my strange, newfound zen state of mind, "If I do what you're telling me to, there's a chance that I'll be able to rock out to awesome Sonic songs, and even then, there's only a chance that I'll be in a position to enjoy it at all. And then, there's also the chance that you're not even employees from Sega at all." He nodded, still smiling so reassuringly.

I took the gun. "Let me show you just what I'm made of."

It now time for the first appearance of THE RANTMASTER, as advertised in this post. Our first subject, as requested by faetan, is Pokémon.

( Pokémon! Pokémon! Pokémon! Let's do this. )

And then ends the rant on Pokémon. I barely scratched the surface of the many interesting and less interestings I could say on that subject, but this has gone on long enough! (Nearly 2000 words. Oi.) Indeed, the mantle of THE RANTMASTER is a heavy one. Tune in next time, for a rant on 4kids, as requested by spoonybardol!

For some reason I really like those memes where I'm the one doing all of the work. Luckily for you, THE RANTMASTER is one of them! It's really quite simple.

I like ranting. I like rambling. I like using too many words to make a simple point and go into irrelevant tangents in the process. This is why, on this day, I'm stepping into the ring, taking the mantle of THE RANTMASTER to rant about... this is where you come in. Follow those two simple steps.

1- Give me a subject to rant on. It can be absolutely anything. Oranges, my favorite rodents, Beyblade, the power of love, JAM Project, showering, the Nightmare Before Christmas... I will then, sometime in the near future, rant about it. Keep watching this space.
_{Limit of one subject per customer, "backup" subjects are allowed if I judge your first pick to be inadequate.}
2- If and only if you wish so, you may partake in THE RANTMASTER CHALLENGE! If so, include in your comment a mention that you challenge me, THE RANTMASTER, to an epic rant-off. You will then have to rant about a subject, either the same as mine or one of my choosing, sometime in the near future.


tl;dr: If you skipped ahead to this line, you will hate THE RANTMASTER.

Check this out, it's kinda spiffy.

I would embed it here, but the spiffy-looking "blog" LJ skin has the disadvantage of being REALLY REALLY NARROW.