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JAPAN TNEWS TNEWTORK: Update!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm your host, Enton Freeman. As those of you who bother to read this know by now, the release date of the next entry in the wildly popular Super Smash Bros. series, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, has apparently been delayed once again. The entire planet mourns.
Earlier today, the Japan Tnews Tnetwork received further confirmation of these shocking news. According to Nintendojo, a representative of Nintendo of America has confirmed that the game would instead see North American release on February 10th, 2008, over two weeks after Japan gets its slimy tentacles on it.
Viewers are reminded that SSBB was originally advertised as a launch title for the Wii, then a Spring 2007 release, then simply "2007", then finally got a solid release date at this year's E3. Sheesh.
Frightened viewers have reported sightings of people saying that this further delay "is not so bad", especially since they learned that Sonic is in the game. Obviously, they would not have had time to put Sonic in it otherwise, for as we all know, the Smash Bros. Dojo is updated at exactly the pace at which things are put into the game. Viewers are advised to contact the local authorities if they meet one of those people, and are reminded that it is technically legal to beat them within an inch of their lives with a freaking two by four. The deniers are not taking this game seriously enough, and must be punished for it.
Up next on JTT: A former Pope speaks from beyond the grave: "I don't care if they release the game months earlier without testing for bugs. I'm a huge Sonic fan and I'm used to it by now." Then right after that, Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games: Why it's not safe to play even if you need your fix, man.
Earlier today, the Japan Tnews Tnetwork received further confirmation of these shocking news. According to Nintendojo, a representative of Nintendo of America has confirmed that the game would instead see North American release on February 10th, 2008, over two weeks after Japan gets its slimy tentacles on it.
Viewers are reminded that SSBB was originally advertised as a launch title for the Wii, then a Spring 2007 release, then simply "2007", then finally got a solid release date at this year's E3. Sheesh.
Frightened viewers have reported sightings of people saying that this further delay "is not so bad", especially since they learned that Sonic is in the game. Obviously, they would not have had time to put Sonic in it otherwise, for as we all know, the Smash Bros. Dojo is updated at exactly the pace at which things are put into the game. Viewers are advised to contact the local authorities if they meet one of those people, and are reminded that it is technically legal to beat them within an inch of their lives with a freaking two by four. The deniers are not taking this game seriously enough, and must be punished for it.
Up next on JTT: A former Pope speaks from beyond the grave: "I don't care if they release the game months earlier without testing for bugs. I'm a huge Sonic fan and I'm used to it by now." Then right after that, Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games: Why it's not safe to play even if you need your fix, man.
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